i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize
