she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
