Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
