He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
