I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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