Its about making memories worth repressing
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
