i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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