my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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