don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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