Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
