out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
