i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
