I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
