I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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