we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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