who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
