There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
