He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
