dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
