He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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