hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
