is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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