Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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