i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
