Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
