Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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