hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you win again, gameday.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
