Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
