Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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