if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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