no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
