I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
