we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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