Porn is love you can see.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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