so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Randomize
