I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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