He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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