woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
