Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
