do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He passed out mid-signature
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
this will be a night to untag.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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