I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
