She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
