You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
