Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize