420 ftw
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
