Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Let's paint friendship bongs
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
