haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
