why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
