I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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