i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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