i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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