woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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