ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
