I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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