I think I just saw someone hide a body.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
