So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
