this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
