What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
