ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
tell me about the eggs
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
