So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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