If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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